Keep Away

 I tried to welcome them

Hands open wide, arms too

Warm like a blanket, soft like a baby

The response?

Mockery.  Teasing.  Hate

Hands and arms with thorns sharp and vines thick and suffocating

Cold like an ice cube, rough like a porcupine

I'm different, I'm unique, I'm good and stand out

And they can't stand it

I don't belong and they must guard the gate of tolerance

With weapons of prejudice and words of disgust.

 

And the worst part is..

It's not just those I don't know

Family who join in; they're cool and I'm not

Race brethren as well; I sold out and am not "racial" enough

Political, religious, economic colleagues

To them, I'm not good enough to be like them, to be with them

Not good enough to be...

 

Tolerance must be practiced, though.  Acceptance as well.

My heart must remain open to them, all of them

All they do, in every way...or so I thought

Peace must be kept, protected, specifically my own

So, masks remain on to physically save my health

They'll think I'm sick.  I know they are sick.

They'll keep away, and I won't mind it, 

And....that doesn't feel bad....

 

Earplug Headphones with volumes at full

Protect my ears from 

The endless meanderings of sentience

Useless words and thoughts overpower what's worth hearing

So, my soundtrack of isolation plays long and loud

And....that's not so bad.

 

For a healthy mental capacity, I was instructed

By therapist and sage alike, 

To accept, tolerate and

Let them all in, open my heart to pain and pleasure

However, more wrong rushes in my peaceful doorways

I have no security but my own devices

Devices that seem selfish in appearance

But self-saving and securing in function.

 

When does one look after his or her own peace?

When does my life get saved when others destroy it?

When does the oxygen mask get fitted

In a tailspin of the everyday struggle?

 

The answer: now.  Now, more than ever

After 40 years of opening, yearning, to belong

I'm retiring and living life on its terms

And if life purports saving my own, then I will

I was born alone.  I will die alone.

So, why not live alone....and like it?