Dust yourself off...and try again...

I'm down.  My eyes open.  I'm lying in a barren wasteland.  I don't know how I got here, but I know where I've been. I'm beat up.  I'm dirty and dusty.  I'm weathered and worn.  I've got scratches, bruises and battle scars.  I'm trying to get up.  I'm shaking off the dust and damage as best I can.  I reach my feet.  I survey the scene.  I know I have a journey ahead of me.  I look for my belongings, if I have any.  If I do or not, I gather them and myself together.  I start walking in the direction I need to head.  My journey begins....


I'll be the first to admit: life is not easy.  You get tripped up, beat down, and all things in between.  On my 33 years on this planet, I've had my share of that, in many different ways.  In fact, we all have.  But, for ever negative and beat down, as we lay there or was reeling, the choice was ours.  We stay down and give up, or bounce back and get up.  Whatever we choose, a life lesson comes our way as well.  Yes, folks, life lessons come our way in subtle or major ways.  It's whether we choose to learn from them or not that matters.  In fact, now that we're at it, let's talk choice.


The ability to choose is the human being's strongest weapon.  It's our most potent power.  It's what separates us from animals and machines.  Animals act on instinct.  Machines operate with logic, if not, with commands. Only humans can choose.  Only humans have free will.  But the most important aspect of choice that is easy to forget is the responsibility that comes with it.  Not everyone has the ability to choose.  But, for those of us that do, there is the responsibility that comes with it.


One of my favorite movies of all time is a recent movie called, "The Adjustment Bureau".  It's a story about a man who questions whether or not he has the free will and the choices to have what he wants or would like to have.  However, there are powerful forces at work to make sure he goes on one path...of great success.  It's up to him to make the crucial choice: risk everything in the face of danger, or take the path given to him and succeed even if he may not want it.  The message: no one will truly understand, have, or even accept free will until they fight for it.  I think I'm finally getting that idea better now than ever. I believe that for every decision made and chance taken, there is responsibility that comes with it.  And I am ready for that....or at least getting there.


So, here's some points on where I was, where I am, and where I'm going.


- Video games are a hobby, not an obsession.  I have one system and a few games.  If the situation were to present itself where I would be back where I was....with all those games, it will be with someone I definitely can share the time, games, and interests with, equally.  I'm learning to be flexible, as that is tantamount to growth.  However, I know what's good for me.


-I highly doubt MP3 players will ever be back in my life.  I'm OK with putting the headphones back on.  But, for limited usage.  Not for heavy usage and isolation.  Not anymore.  As for the music I held onto, well, I have a guitar now.  The best way to transmute the negative is make it positive...and learn to cover them. 


-Wrestling is dead.  Okay, not quite.  My wrestling days of hardcore, full-on fandom are over.  I lived that way from 1987 - 2014.  So, for about 27 years, I have been an active fan.  The activity is over.  If I watch a match, it will be a classic one, within that time frame only.  Now, I know I have a bunch of friends that love wrestling, and still watch it.  My decision is this: if ever a live show they want to take me to, or plan to invite me to, I won't object as I have a chance to spend time with good friends in life.  So, if it acts as a backdrop of sorts, sure, let's watch wrestling.


-I love to draw.  I will be drawing every time I can.  It's time for me to take that talent, that hobby and put something forth with it.  Talent can only carry you so far.  It's when it becomes a skill that it stays forever.  It's time to make my drawing a skill.  After hearing some priceless advice, I'm going to improve my character and setting drawing, so I can create some nice comics in the future.  Plotting won't be a problem, thanks to a little help from my friends.


-My guitar is my new passion.  I love the fact that I finally made a dream of mine come true.  And now, it's on to learning covers, learning new tasks, learning and making songs, and enjoying the fact that I can play.  If it were just me, my guitars, my other hobbies, my dog, and my life, I think I'd be just fine.  But, a little extra doesn't hurt.


-Pee Wee and I are a team.  My chihuahua is my friend and little one of sorts.  We take care of each other.


- Mom and Dad are Mom and Dad.  I finally made peace with my parents.  I'm glad I got a chance to, as well.  I thought it wasn't going to be possible, but the moves were made.  Now, we're where we need to be.  My brothers and sisters are definitely on my side, and I'm on theirs.  As good a support system in my family that I could ask for, guaranteed.  Fences mended with my older brother for the first time ever and I couldn't be happier.  I feel like I belong again.


There are more bits and pieces to be sure.  I just know that I've been through a lot.  I've been knocked down.  I've been hurt.  I've been broken.  Now, I spend the rest of my life fixing up the mess that was me and become the best I can be.  I'm on my journey, and I hope you readers can join me.  For those who already have, thanks for being with me.  I appreciate it.


The measure of a person is not how that person gets knocked down.  It's how that person gets back up.  Read that from a "Daredevil" comic.  Couldn't ring any more true.