Games I won’t touch – Part 1

As a gamer, I can honestly say that there are a slew of games I’ve never played.  I don’t know what’s keeping me from doing it, really.  Actually, I do.  It’s a combination of things, really, like money, time, systems, etc.  There may come a time when I do get to play these games, but this isn’t about the great games I haven’t gotten to yet.  This is about the game I just don’t want to play.  They can be great, triple-A titles or the worst thing ever created, but I just won’t touch them.  I don’t care for them, and quite honestly, in my humble opinion, I don’t think I could care any less about the games in question.  This is going to be a multi-parter so bear with me as I mention a slew of games that come to mind.  Now let’s get started on this magical misery tour.

Nintendo CD-I games

I do remember Hotel Mario being a little interesting, but not enough to merit a purchase for a new system.  As time has passed, I realized it wasn’t worth anything as it was just a rip-off of Elevator Action, only with Mario and Luigi in it.  Then, there are the three Zelda games, which, if you know them by now, need no further discussion.  It was a dark period of Nintendo, and I’d want no part of it whatsoever.  They aren’t even so bad that they are good.  They are just bad.  HORRIBLY bad.  I’m not going to buy, play, or even touch these with a 10 foot pole.  The controls are horrid, the graphics are intolerable, and the voice acting…..oh man!  No one should have to suffer through this, and I am one of them.

Various Mortal Kombat titles

I would go into specifics, but it’s hard to pinpoint them all.  So, I’ll just hit some of the key games that I know and my reasons.  I don’t want to play Ultimate MK3 due to the facts that I couldn’t stand MK3 on the whole and that they hypocritically had a non-sequel of sorts that various supporters of MK have criticized Capcom and Street Fighter II of doing all those years.  Hello kettle, I’m a black pot.  How ya doing?  I won’t waste my time on MK4 due to the poor graphics and general disinterest in the fighting game mechanics when compared to other 3-d fighting games.  The sequels to MK: Deadly Alliance did nothing to interest me, if not for the additional characters, but for the direction the story was taking or has taken.  Also, zombie version of characters that shouldn’t have died so easily doesn’t make up for their removal from games.  MK vs. DC Universe fails to me on so many levels, specifically the lack of fatalities.  If you knew that you couldn’t kill certain people, why go through with making the game?  Did you honestly think MK vs. DC could hang with MVC3, let alone Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, or even SF4?  No thanks.  As for MK’s reboot, the jury is still out, but not in a very good favor.  I don’t think I should have to unlock fatalities, do you?

Final Fantasy 7 and beyond

I played and finished Final Fantasy 4 for my Nintendo DS in an attempt to see about Final Fantasy for the first time and flesh out my DS collection.  I’ve also had some interest in playing Final Fantasy 1, 2, 3, 5, and 6, someday.  When it comes to FF7 and beyond, I won’t even bother.  I remember distinctly everyone in my high school class saying how FF7 was incredibly awesome and how I lost out because FF7 was too large for the N64.  Everyone got on the bandwagon.  About 6 months later, Final Fantasy Tactics comes out as one of the first strategy RPGs in the FF series, if not the only one.  Everyone turns around and says how this game was better than FF7.  That already sealed it for me.  If the fans are turning around on it, why bother?  This would probably be my first time encountering the difficult fans of Final Fantasy.  Final Fantasy 8 would come out afterward, and all I heard about was how it was not better than 7.  Others would say otherwise, and the debates began.  The games that followed were either not hyped to as much effect (Final Fantasy 9) or hyped greatly only to disappoint a good portion of the FF fans (Final Fantasy X, X-2, XIII).  If I can’t get a solid read on a game worth playing either because the fans don’t like it, or whatever, why bother?  I know the games don’t cross over and some have direct sequels, much to the chagrin of many, but come on. Sadly, this is becoming a trend, as I feel that other franchises are falling into this category.  So, if it’s not the first 6, I’m not interested, especially if the fans aren’t.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

There was a time where GTA was a ground-breaking, innovative game series.  The game popularized the genre of the “Sandbox” games, giving you the opportunity to play through the story, or do a whole lot of side missions.  My experience with GTA is limited to playing knockoffs like The Simpsons: Hit and Run, playing the only handheld version in GTA: Chinatown Wars (which is very reminiscent to the first two GTA games), and attempting to help finish “The Ballad of Gay Tony” for my girlfriend (which I didn’t because I can’t take the controls…..or the chopper missions).  Right now, I’m sitting on 4 GTA games that I’ve never played before but have for the PS2.  I will get to those, guide free, if I have to.  So, why not play the 5^th and maybe most popular game in the series?  I think it was at this point the games became rather excessive.  Yea, I can connect and relate to the fact that it takes place during the years I grew up in as a youth into a teenager (the 1990s), but it seemed like the games started putting much more emphasis on the side stories, and less on the main story.  Either that or, I’m just not interested.  When you have games that opened the door to this game, or have played games that are leagues better than it, I wouldn’t want to step back into this specific copy.  To be honest, this is the game that opened the door for many, many clones to the GTA series.  I could be wrong, but I do recall True Crime: New York City coming out around this time, if not the first game, Streets of L.A.  Oh, and I can do without having to find some “Hot Coffee” or Bigfoot, thank you.

Any other Dragon Quest game than Dragon Quest IV

This is another game I finished on my DS like Final Fantasy IV.  Both were very solid RPGs, to say the least.  Both also had very enthralling stories, too.  Now, why wouldn’t I go for any Dragon Quest games?  This is the only game series that base their battles almost exclusively on chance.  It doesn’t matter how good you are, how high your levels are, what protection you have or whatnot.  You can and will get in a battle with enemies, and lose, be they random enemies or bosses.  You can and will see yourself losing at level 37 to some monster less powerful than you.  Oh, and I should bring up that battles are very, very random.  They will happen when you least expect it and when you don’t want it.  But, I’m sure if you do look forward to it, it will never happen.  It’s like you have to be on your toes all the time.  I know this adds to the challenge of the game, but I’m sure the game is tough enough later on without having me worry about who is going to kill me through luck.  It’s just another frustrating experience I can do without.  I don’t want to get close to breaking my system because of such.

Battletoads

I’ve dealt with Dragon Quest.  I’ve dealt with Final Fantasy.  I’ve even still try to finish Ninja Gaiden every now and again.  But, if there’s one challenge I will do without, it’s Battletoads.  I already know this game is impossible to finish with two players because you can hurt your partner, and once they die, the game ends.  Without your partner, the game is already a pain to finish.   Again, I don’t need to frustrate myself with games that are almost impossible to complete any way you slice it.  For those of you who did, kudos to you.  You’re a better gamer than most.  I’m not, and I don’t need to be.  Sorry, Battletoads, but I’m not going to bother, sadly.

Poor Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat clones/inspired games

I’m sure there are plenty of these, and because of such, I’m not sure how many there are or if I can name them all.  I will bring up a few of note.  Fighter’s History is a tremendous rip-off of Street Fighter II that it was taken to court.  Although it won out by being the least bit different from Street Fighter II, it was also a poorly made game.  Time Killers attempted at bringing violence and fatalities in a 2-d format, most likely to cash in on the Mortal Kombat craze.  It was a disaster.  Then there are the various games for consoles, like Power Moves, Tuff E Nuff, and Doomsday Warrior.  No, I’m not counting Clay Fighter.  It knows it’s a clone/inspired game and it refers to itself as such.  And hence, they want us to laugh along.  However, the other games wanted to be taken seriously.  That is just not going to happen with me.  I gave World Heroes a pass only because it is different enough to not be a straight rip-off of Street Fighter games.  Qualitatively, it is much better than the games mentioned here in the negative.  Remember, this game has a cult following of sorts.  Don’t ask me which cult.  It just does.

R.O.B. games

To end this first installment, I want to go to games on the Nintendo that need to use the Robotic Operating Buddy, or R.O.B.  I’m going to sum this up in two reasons.  One: it’s almost impossible to find a R.O.B., let alone an affordable one.  I’m not going to go a scavenger hunt for a virtually useless peripheral for the NES.  Two:  R.O.B. is practically useless.  Want to know what I learned?  It seems as if some of, if not most of the games that use R.O.B. can be controlled with a second player controller.  That’s right.  Instead of having R.O.B., you could use another controller.  Why didn’t anyone see this?  I think my first reason is more prevalent, but again, it’s my opinion.

And that ends the first part of a series of games I won’t play.  This is all my opinion.  I’m sure some of the games are excellent according to popular opinion if not by critical review.  And, I’m sure some of them are horrendous.  But, that’s not going to change my opinion.  I’m being stubborn, I know.  But, I don’t need to have and/or own every game in the world, let alone play them.  I’m sure it won’t change your opinion on the game.  So, if you like, just indulge me.  Feel free to comment or add.

Now, to prepare for part 2…and other things.