Money.

Money.  The root of all evil?  The thing that makes the world go 'round?  Whatever your interpretation, it plays a very important role in life.  It is seen as one of the four key things that can destroy relationships of any kind, and in turn, cause great conflicts.  The other three things are religion, politics, and Eros (love of an erotic nature).  Look at the history of the world or the stories of old and when you come across any conflicts, check to see if any of those four things are behind all the chaos.  Today, I'm going to cover money and its effect on my life.


From an early age, I knew that my family wasn't rich.  I watched enough television and movies to know what rich people would be or could be like.  There was no vault with 3 cubic acres of money in our backyard.  Robin Leach didn't come to our house and take a tour.  And we didn't have lunch with Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man.  Anyhoo, we lived by the means we had.  And the means we had consisted of this: a woman who worked a comfortable job, having to take on another or two because of her husband who had a great job, but quit for whatever reason in order to take another job later in his life that paid just enough to get by for a limited schedule.  Oh, and there were 7 mouths to feed in the form of 7 children.


Mom and Dad were my only representations on how to live life with a modicum of monetary success.  Mom worked at an insurance company while Dad worked at the U.N.  With 6 kids already and a 7th on the way, Dad not only quit his job, but he left the country with his pregnant wife alone at home to feed 7 kids.  After giving birth, Mom did what she could to support the family, which entailed taking numerous jobs that helped make extra income.  She did all she could to make sure we all went through Catholic school from kindergarten through high school.  It was a great drain on the resources, but we all managed.  How?


Well, for starters, when it came to toys or gifts, we never got any unless it was a birthday or Christmas.  We got allowance for a very short while.  Doing chores didn't guarantee us money.  So, it was safe to say that getting gifts or money at a young age wasn't going to happen as much as we would have liked.  However, we understood that was the case and didn't complain.  After all, we weren't working....yet....


Mom had a spectacular plan.  Once any of us graduated from elementary school, she would make sure we received our working papers.  So, once we reached 14, or at least were out of elementary school, we'd be working.  It didn't matter where, how, when, or whatever.  What mattered was that we were getting jobs, getting our own money, and not just staying home all day (or getting into trouble, I'm sure).  So, I worked for SYEP for two consecutive summers.  It was that experience that taught me a thing or two about life, monetarily and such:


-Being a teenager and not "hip" to the scene left you open for a lot of ribbing, polite or not so.

-Learn to prioritize between what you want and what you need.  Once you do, spending and saving money becomes so much easier

-Bank accounts are not as much a hassle until much later in life...when you have to access them

-You can be amazed at what clothes you can buy for a reasonable price

-It's easy to not have enough and have enough money on any given day, month, year, etc.

-Setting boundaries with people, accounts for money as well.

-It's easy to get played for your naivete and your good nature.  So, before you break out the wallet...make sure you know why.


After those two summers, it was off to internships with a re-insurance company and a law firm.  I think it's safe to say that I didn't have a summer vacation for the life of me.  But, I got to understand the ins and outs of corporate America to an extent.  For starters, there is the hierarchy you have to deal with.  Your skills can and will only get you so far.  It's about selling yourself.  Also, keeping your nose clean is an imperative.  What you pick up on the job, however, may or may not have anything to do with your career aspirations, but they can be useful skills, like knowledge of Microsoft Office, how to fix a copier, where to go for lunch and whether or not you should bring yours in.  If you are lucky, you can make some good connections and work there again.  Anyhoo, I got paid more money those two years than I could imagine as a teen.  40 hour work weeks at $8.50 and hour and then some.  That's pretty darn good.  There are some problems that come with it, though.....like parents.


My dad's attempt at a part-time working lifestyle left him with no job during the summer.  In fact, it let him with no job for close to 4 months.  Why was this a problem?  My dad was always good at playing the self-pity game.  Mom, well, she just got herself a decent job with the city, but her money alone wasn't enough to sustain a family of 7, with varying degrees of work experience, education experience and a need to branch out and see the world.  Transactional analysis will show, and as I have learned, that my parents were not exactly the best of caregivers.  They just lived with what they knew.  What they knew was this: the boys stay and help the Mom and Dad with the household while the girls go out and see the world, get great jobs, get married, have kids.   Oh, and if you're making money, it had better go back into the family.  As in, borrow, borrow, borrow, with no expectation of returns.  That's where that naivete thing comes in.  Now, I knew myself to be a pretty nice guy, but I don't like being taken advantage of....not anymore.  If there was one script my father always liked to play, it was the "helpless" one, where he was just an old man, who provided for his kids everything.  It was high time they gave back, to all his endeavors, no matter how foolish some of them sounded.  I can understand the cable bill, sure, especially if I'm the one who likes to watch cable along with the others.  But, when you give me the business of how you can afford a bill when you should be working to do so....then where does one draw the line?   Also, starting a personal business while trusting the wrong people almost all the time, doesn't show a lick of business acumen.  Once I opened the bank, everyone had their hands in it.  Either once or once too many.  Let me break it down for you:  out of 8 people, only 2 of them never borrowed from me.  Out of the 6 that did, a grand total of 4 always borrowed as if they had no money.


Mom progressed in her career and became a supervisor for her unit.  In came more money, for the first time in a long time, if not her life.  With this money, she was able to get out of credit card debt.  See, once all of us were born, Mom and Dad had accrued such a large amount of debt that it was almost impossible to live within our means at times.  Mom maxed out multiple cards, as did Dad.  Dad also took out student loans, which he never paid off.  When it came to fixing the problem, Dad complained as if the world was against him and acted like he was penniless and powerless to fix this problem.  I should mention that Dad wasn't a big proponent on having to work hard for his money.  Getting rich quick seemed like his forte, or at least trusting people that promoted that idea to him.  I couldn't count how many times he'd get calls from various people from around the world for whatever business deal he was involved in.  The most productive thing I thought him to do was actually going to Nigeria to work on a deal there with family.  Since he was leaving (again), I made sure he had money set aside for the bills he was supposed to pay.  He came back, after a bout with malaria, and told us the business was in good hands (i.e. people he could trust) and the money was going to be coming in very soon and plentiful.  He was wrong, and the business went belly up.  He never got his cards together, save for his bank card, mortgages had to be made on the apartment, and to top it off, he now no longer had his substitute teacher job to fall back on.  He had other work he was hired for, but that fell through when he fell asleep on the job.  As for Mom...


As stated earlier, Mom progressed onward with her career.  She went on with her college education and obtained her Master's Degree.  This helped her secure her job as supervisor and more pay.  When it came to the bills, though, all she made sure to do was cover the rent and the food money.  Other utilities mostly fell on my dad, and then onto myself and my brothers.  Mom got her cards taken care of and her debts mostly to fully settled.  When it came to monthly expenses along with food, such as rent, electricity, and cable television, she paid what she could, but realized she had about 3 boys at home.  So, guess who was pitching in with the bills?  Yup, the three boys at home.  This would have been just peachy for Mom, of course, feeding the boys, providing for them, as long as they foot the bills.  Around this time, I met the woman who was going to be my wife.  As we got to know each other, dated, and enjoyed each other's company, there was an elephant in the room that needed to be addressed: my living situation, money and all.


After numerous times of lashing out, pinching pennies, and becoming too scared of my own shadow to do something, my wife finally convinced me to move out of my parent's place.  I wasn't sure if I could for a bevy of reasons, money being the number one reason.  However, if I was going to maintain any level of sanity, I had to get out of there.  Thanks to a few talks with my wife, I finally decided to move.  And on January 1, 2012, on the 30th year of my existence, I finally moved out of my parent's house.  JOY!  When it came to money, I was as careful as I could be, working extra hard to maintain my rent, and other utilities like electricity, cable, my phone, and the like.  Food wise, I only bought enough for me and only me.  I was on a bachelor's diet.  As for other expenditures, I made sure I bought what I needed and took super good care of it.  After marriage, I got another good look at money and saw how to save even more when it seemed impossible.


First, joining rewards programs to get points and prices off were a must.  Also, shopping safe while shopping cheap was also a handy, dandy, tip.  Going to stores when big sales were up and when coupons were available: another handy tip.  Making the most of my trips to places that consumed money like the laundry by drying and washing appropriately was helpful.  And, saving change.  Always save your change!  Lastly, we came up with a budget of what to spend every pay period.  In the end, we had money to spare, and were being as careful as we could.


Currently, I'm back to the way things used to be, catching up with my funds as I spent a little more than I hoped to.  I'm living hand to mouth right now.  On the plus side, I've taken to selling items I no longer need anymore on EBay and in stores.  I've made some sweet coin doing that, especially when it comes to paying bills, eating food, and the like.  Awesome!  I'm being as careful as I can be with my money.  I'm also seeing how I can get when it comes to my money.  I'm so used to never having enough or being in debt with the habits I've seen and taken up that, for once, I'm spending as much as I should when I should.  Or, I'm at least trying to.


I could go on and on about my problems and experiences with money, but I think I'll stop here.  The point I'm trying to make with this post is to let off some steam when it comes to my issues with dollars, cents, and making sense of it all.  It doesn't grow on trees, sure, but if you spend it wisely, stretch it as far as you can, and use it to the best of your ability, you'll never really go hungry.  I'm glad to have the opportunities I have to make a little extra money in my pocket and I thank the Lord and am grateful to have what I have and be where I am.  The best advice I think I've ever received about money is this:

-never live beyond your means

-only buy what you know you need

-don't be afraid to treat yourself every now and again, but do it responsibly

-if you don't need it, but could use it and you never do, give it away to someone who can, if possible.

-the best laid plans to make more money should be considered heavily and wisely when considering your well-being.

-9 times out of 10, the mistakes others make with money are the best lessons you can learn.  So, listen and learn.

-Don't be a miser.  If you can share the wealth, do so.




Now, it's off to study for another exam to get a better paying position.  The last bit of advice: the best opportunities to make money are not what's too good to be true, but what may be just right for you.